Since my journey with the Lord began, one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is how to parent by watching how the Father parents me. Before I correct, teach, or even comfort my girls, I ask myself: “How would the Father handle me in this moment?”
That question grounds me. It changes how I speak, how I listen, and how I lead. There are many things my daughters will learn in life. Still, there are a few core truths I need them to know, truths that will shape every relationship and every situation they encounter. And I try to keep them encouraged in that, even though it is uncomfortable, we are to look different than the world, and even though those in the world may not understand, it is necessary. Learning this discipline and correction early will bring life and peace.
Pray first. Before you do anything, pray. Seek the Lord. Let Him prepare your heart and guide your steps. He is faithful to answer. Repent quickly. When the Lord corrects you, don’t delay. Apologize sincerely and turn back to Him and the person you’ve hurt. An honest “sorry” always leads to real change. Manage your expectations. Let your expectations align with God’s Word, not your feelings. This guards your heart from resentment and bitterness. Be accountable. Check your motives. Own your actions—even if your intentions weren’t harmful. Acknowledge when someone says you’ve hurt them. And don’t be afraid to hold others accountable, too, unless the Lord leads you otherwise. Know the difference between reasons and excuses. A reason explains, but an excuse avoids. Don’t let a reason become your excuse—otherwise, you’ll get stuck. Remain humble and forgive quickly. Forgiveness is a process, but it begins with a willing heart. Pride will harden your heart, but humility invites healing. Let God show you where the hurt came from—and where it came from in the other person. Show compassion and mercy. These two will stomp out anger before it takes root. Compassion softens our response, and mercy silences retaliation. Extend grace—over and over again. Grace upon grace upon grace. The Lord gives it freely; so should we.
Set healthy boundaries. Boundaries are not barriers; they are wisdom. Let the Lord guide where you say “yes” and where you say “no.” Not every hardship is spiritual warfare—sometimes, it’s just the natural consequence of a decision. Watch your words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Words can hurt deeply—but they can also give life. Choose them wisely. Seek truth and gain wisdom. Not “your truth.” Not popular opinion. The truth. We don’t compromise truth to make others comfortable. Knowledge isn’t power—truth is. Ask the Lord for wisdom. He promises to give it. Live at peace. We are called to live in peace with everyone. Do all you can to make peace, and then trust the Lord with the rest. Sometimes, peace means kindness from a distance. Do not repay evil for evil. Just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you get to hurt back. Choose better. Love. This should be obvious, but let’s be honest—it’s not.
Love today is tossed around like candy, often used to manipulate or demand tolerance. But real love is action, not just a feeling. Love is patient, kind, enduring, covering, bearing, believing, and hoping. Love casts out fear. Love is not boastful, envious, irritable, arrogant, resentful, or rude. Love doesn’t depend on fairness or who “deserves” it. God is a good Father. He loves with truth. He gives grace—but not carelessly. He corrects and disciplines, but never with cruelty. He allows consequences but walks with us through them. He holds us accountable and still understands our weakness. He knows we wrestle with emotions, with flesh, and this broken world—but He never left us alone.We must choose Him—and sometimes we won’t choose right. But still, He is faithful. As His children, we’re called to be holy as He is holy. That includes how we parent.
When I committed my life to Jesus, I committed everything—including my parenting. I didn’t want my girls to enter a broken world already broken. I believe in giving them room to choose and experience life, but I also trust that what I’ve instilled will guide them—and that the Lord will never leave them. No, I’m not a perfect mom. I fall short every day. No, my girls aren’t perfect, either. But that’s where grace—and adjusted expectations—come in. And God is a perfect Father, so we have no doubt that following Him will always lead to righteousness.
(Hebrews 12:9–11, NIV) Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
