Suffering Well

I have a friend who has been struggling lately with feeling as if she is failing because of ongoing health issues and difficulties. Her comment was, “I guess I am not suffering well, so I should just give up.”  All she wants in her heart is to be the wife and mother she believes God has called her to be. Yet, every time she cannot fulfill what she believes she should, she immediately blames herself, and in those moments, it almost feels like she throws her faith out the window. I understand that place more than I wish I did. I have been there too. It is a mindset that, honestly, Jesus must break. I do my best to show her grace and love. I tell her that she is being way too hard on herself, far harder than the Lord is. Most of the time, though, she doesn’t want to hear it. And if I’m honest, I understand that too. The last thing I ever wanted to be was a divorced, single parent with ADHD, raising kids alone while enduring sanctification and learning to walk with the Lord in a way I never expected. It hasn’t been easy. Some days, I truly hate it. Yet even in that, thanks be to God, He has brought me to a place of peace and understanding. No matter how I feel, He is still good. He understands my weakness, and His grace is sufficient. That place of peace is not easy to come to. But the Lord will bring you there.

Because the truth is, no one wakes up in the morning hoping for suffering. We pray for peace, provision, and protection, not pain. Yet at some point in our lives, suffering arrives uninvited. The question is not whether we will suffer, but how we will walk through it when we do. Suffering has a way of stripping life down to what is real. It exposes what we trust, what we cling to, and where our hope truly rests. In those painful spaces, faith is no longer theoretical; it becomes deeply personal. It is there that we begin to learn what it means to suffer well in Christ. A recurring theme throughout the Bible is that suffering is a refining process, not a condemning one. God does not waste suffering. He uses it to reveal what is real within us and to refine our faith. Many people endure suffering, but Scripture calls us to suffer faithfully. When comfort disappears, faith becomes visible. Trials reveal whether our foundation is built on circumstances or on Christ.  Suffering well in Christ does not mean we never struggle. It does not mean we always respond perfectly, or that we never question, grieve, or wrestle with the weight of our circumstances.

It simply means that even in the middle of the pain, we refuse to let suffering redefine who God is. The place my friend is walking through right now is painful. I know that because I’ve walked through my own version of it. But I also know something else now that I didn’t understand then: God meets us in those places. And He is faithful to finish the work He begins.