It was an exhilarating experience to be part of the ministry trip to John 3:17 in Arkansas this year. Having had the privilege to serve on three other mission trips overseas, this was my first opportunity to join the John 3:17 ministry team. Although, I had the honor of being one of the speakers, the most memorable aspect of this weekend was the profound opportunity to pray both individually and corporately with the women going through the program.
I was concerned that my life experiences might not enable me to connect with these ladies. However, in His infinite wisdom God uses all things for His glory. My history was filled with childhood trauma, and though I had learned to mask my pain in ways other than drug or alcohol addiction, I would self-harm and use food for comfort. These coping mechanisms allowed me to function in everyday life, but not without a cost, just as addiction came with a cost for the women in recovery at John 3:17. I would have emotional meltdowns that impacted my family and my health, followed by periods of stuffing my feelings and pain down again until I blew up or saw my health decline.
This cycle kept me from fully receiving my heavenly father’s love into the deepest parts of my soul. I remember sharing with a team member on my first missions trip that I had come to accept the fact that I would never be completely healed emotionally from my childhood abuse and trauma. Yet, I could always believe and even pray for complete healing for others, but I could never trust that for myself. But God had other plans! On my second missions trip, I went through experiences that cemented God’s love for me in the deepest places of my heart. On my third missions trip, my heavenly Father taught me that I could trust those who He surrounded me with from the body of Christ. My team members showed the love and servant heart of Jesus so that we could minister together in a foreign country. Stepping out in faith to serve on these trips not only restored me emotionally but allowed God to develop me into a stronger and more confident leader.
In going to John 3:17, God showed me that my history could make a difference for the women in recovery. So many of their stories echoed similar trauma to that which I shared in my testimony. God was able to give them hope that as I experienced spiritual healing from trauma, they could as well. I heard their similar stories as they honored me by entrusting me and other team members to pray for their deep wounds. When we are transparent and vulnerable, it allows others to do so as well. As I prayed with the women, God showed me how much potential and calling He has for each one of them. He has provided them with a place of healing and restoration so that they cannot only experience spiritual healing, but that they can begin to see his purpose and calling for their lives. God teaches us how to, “…say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:2 NIV)
